Struggling to Decide..

As of now we are still struggling to decide on our wedding location. I really really like Elkins Estate, however it will come out to be quite expensive, mainly because they charge just to rent the location. They have four exclusive caters that we would choose from and I am currently collecting their pricing now.

The other option that we are considering is a hotel with an elegant ballroom. We have looked at a couple so far.. one was not fancy enough. The other was wonderful but had a high minimum food and drink for Saturday night of $35k which is way more than Elkins at the end of the day.

Deborah mentioned the Taj Mahal in Atlantic City has a deal for $125 per guest... I like the idea in theory but dont exactly want to get married in Atlantic City. It makes me think of Vegas and we've said in the past that we wouldn't want to do that. But I like the idea of it coming out cheaper and it probably has the elegant ballroom.

Deborah and I are going to see a couple more downtown hotels and then Elkins Estate next Tuesday... so I will stretch my final decision making date to next Tuesday. Elkins has sent us a contract already... I will keep in touch with the representative (Lindsay) and let her know we are definitely still interested.

I am to the point with Rolanda that I dont feel like discussing any wedding plans anymore. Its just difficult to do that when we are supposed to be saving together in a joint account, which she does not deposit her half on time. I get frustrated with her because I shouldn't have to pull her teeth to do simple things. We also cannot decide on a budget together. I've asked her at least 10 times now (no exaggeration) how much is she able to save per month toward the wedding, and have not gotten a straight answer YET :-( This causes concern for me. Lately it feels like I'm dragging her through the wedding planning. I dont want to have to do that.. I'd prefer participation at least with depositing the money so that we can pay for things in a uniform, less complicated form. I am currently depositing 250 per check towards the wedding and feel we should look at our own personal budgets to see if we can deposit more for the next year. She still wont give me an answer.

when Rolanda was pushing me to find a way to pay $550 a month toward my student loans instead of the $300 that I was already struggling to pay.. I did.. so that I could eventually get a lower pay rate anyhow. and it worked.

I've already suggested twice that we get pre-marital counselling. Rolanda agreed to find a person to do it and that was months ago.. So I will take on the task as soon as I get time. When all is said and done, besides her vows is there anything this girl is willing to do?

I am the only one who seems to compromise around here.. but if the other options that we (as in Deborah and I) view on Tuesday do not pan out.. I will be signing the contract with Elkins and proceeding forward :-)

My maid of honor (Tisha) and Deborah have truly helped me keep my sanity throughout all of this bull. It just feels good to talk to someone about the wedding that is genuinely interested and not avoiding the conversation. I'm hoping the rest of the planning is a wee bit more fun!