I do recall something that I plan to go back to and get involved in when we are up to it:
www.soyoureengayged.com
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Stand Still
Having a difficult time. Its still an unreal thing to me. I miss my mother and think about her ALOT. Wondering how she felt in her last moments. Wondering how her spirit feels today? Does she watch over me all of the time?
It is hard to move forward. I have little desire to do anything these days, yet I keep pushing.
I get anxious feelings at random moments. And depressed. I miss her. It doesn't seem fair that she is gone so early.
I can talk about it but it still doesn't seem like a real thing.
There are times that I feel very alone. Rolanda is there, but sometimes she makes me feel alone too. Especially if we have a disagreement. Life just doesn't seem as exciting without my mother. I dont have many things to look forward to like before. Yes I am engaged and have a wedding to plan. But I do not look forward to pulling Rolanda's teeth to plan it. I dont feel like alot of things. I know I do not make enough money at my job, but I do not know if I have the energy to put into a new position. My community work, I do not know if I can keep up the energy for it.
I am just at a standstill.
It is hard to move forward. I have little desire to do anything these days, yet I keep pushing.
I get anxious feelings at random moments. And depressed. I miss her. It doesn't seem fair that she is gone so early.
I can talk about it but it still doesn't seem like a real thing.
There are times that I feel very alone. Rolanda is there, but sometimes she makes me feel alone too. Especially if we have a disagreement. Life just doesn't seem as exciting without my mother. I dont have many things to look forward to like before. Yes I am engaged and have a wedding to plan. But I do not look forward to pulling Rolanda's teeth to plan it. I dont feel like alot of things. I know I do not make enough money at my job, but I do not know if I have the energy to put into a new position. My community work, I do not know if I can keep up the energy for it.
I am just at a standstill.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
My Love
I've laid next to her and watched her sleep every night for a week now. Last Saturday she was awake all night. This Saturday her body is calm and hopefully dreaming of her mom. I want to protect her and heal all pain. I told her everything I've ever learned about death. I hope she'll believe me and be at peace with the loss of our mom. Noone can replace this great woman but I can love her just as much. I will do anything for her. God, she has my heart and I will never take it back. Please allow my days to be longer than hers.
I don't want to ever see her cry the way that she has in this last week. I admit that I've done many things to distract her. I've never been in this situation. I didn't know how to handle it. I've probably talked her ear off about nonsense. I've even become jealous of people trying to share her time. I've been very aroused around her. I didn't realize that we'd gone so many days without kissing as a greeting. I guess that's because I never let her leave my side. Yeah I pleased her twice but I felt the difference. She did tremble but it didn't come from deep within. It was a temporary release, not our usual love making.
All I've wanted to do is sweep her away from everyone and hold her. I know it's best to allow her to grieve for Mom but I'm scared she'll get depressed. I was nervous about the funeral but it went well. There were many times that she cried today and I fought the urge to grab her. I allowed her family to console her. I held her tightly with my eyes. The days to come will be rough but I'll remain by her side.
Our plan was to save for our wedding and take fewer trips. Now I want to take her everywhere and do everything. The death of Mom has shown that our date could be sooner than we think. I'd rather spend every waking and sleeping hour making her happy.
I don't want to ever see her cry the way that she has in this last week. I admit that I've done many things to distract her. I've never been in this situation. I didn't know how to handle it. I've probably talked her ear off about nonsense. I've even become jealous of people trying to share her time. I've been very aroused around her. I didn't realize that we'd gone so many days without kissing as a greeting. I guess that's because I never let her leave my side. Yeah I pleased her twice but I felt the difference. She did tremble but it didn't come from deep within. It was a temporary release, not our usual love making.
All I've wanted to do is sweep her away from everyone and hold her. I know it's best to allow her to grieve for Mom but I'm scared she'll get depressed. I was nervous about the funeral but it went well. There were many times that she cried today and I fought the urge to grab her. I allowed her family to console her. I held her tightly with my eyes. The days to come will be rough but I'll remain by her side.
Our plan was to save for our wedding and take fewer trips. Now I want to take her everywhere and do everything. The death of Mom has shown that our date could be sooner than we think. I'd rather spend every waking and sleeping hour making her happy.
Friday, July 30, 2010
Smores
Just holding onto this idea just in case!
2/22/2011 and I still like this idea. not sure how it can tie in to my theme though. maybe a gift for a different time. (rehearsal dinner? do you even give gifts then??). here's a cute poem
S'more laughs,
S'more hugs,
S'more kisses,
S'more falling in love,
S'more time spent together,
S'more memories we've made,
But most of all we are happiest to say,
We have S'more family & friends to love today
Favors
Favors:
Mini horseshoe key chain in a box. The various love related definitions from the dictionary cut in a circular pattern and pasted to each box. Our horseshoe logo with (r&r Lucky in Love) maybe printed on a sticker and placed on the top of the box. These can also be given in mini baggies too.
Mini horseshoe key chain in a box. The various love related definitions from the dictionary cut in a circular pattern and pasted to each box. Our horseshoe logo with (r&r Lucky in Love) maybe printed on a sticker and placed on the top of the box. These can also be given in mini baggies too.
Stationary
this is a cute idea for thank you cards to guests. Can still send them in envelopes too.
These buttons are cute - $85 for a hundred of them. Hmmm I wonder how much a button maker is.. I might know someone with one.
Otherwise these cute love related words can be cut out of a dictionary and incorporated into our seating place cards!
Ideas
Book Ring holder idea;
http://ruffledblog.com/2010/05/diy-vintage-book-ring-holder/
/www.blissweddingsmarket.com
http://ruffledblog.com/2010/05/diy-vintage-book-ring-holder/
/www.blissweddingsmarket.com
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)